This is the first of what will likely be many posts regarding the broken social contract of the public restroom.  Actually, this may apply to my restroom at home at times, but today I need to focus on the public space.

For me, a public restroom serves one purpose.  Two if you want to use numbers.  Get in, do your business, wash up and leave.   Or puke if that’s what you’re there for, which I guess would be doing a number three?  I’ll give you a pass on brushing your teeth after lunch, if you must.  I’ve had far too many meetings with people who’ve had bad breath after lunch.  And seriously, tuna for a work lunch?  Why?

Back to today.  I came back from the bathroom at work where I witnessed something that is just, well, unacceptable.  I’m done doing my business and walk to the sinks to wash up.  In walk two guys.  One heads to the stall to sit while the other sets his coffee on the sink, leans against the wall and eats an apple while chatting with the guy on the shitter.  So many things wrong with this.  

First, for me, when I’m sitting on the toilet, especially a public toilet, the world does not exist outside the closest walls around me, be they the short metal variety in public or the soothing confines of home.  Vice-versa, for other people, when I’m in there, the end of the world is the door to my stall.  Don’t talk to me, don’t ask me to spare a square, don’t even compliment my shoes.  I don’t exist in your world at that moment and you don’t exist in mine.  At the urinal, no problem. But the stall is just a void, nothing-ness, the end of the world.

The second thing is food, in the bathroom.  That’s just all kinds of wrong.  I knew someone who used to take coffee and the morning paper into the bathroom.  The paper was fine, no problem, especially if I was finished reading it.  But I have to draw the line at the coffee.  That was at home even.  But this guy was in a medium traffic public restroom drinking coffee, eating an apple and chatting with someone taking a dump.  

Let the bathroom be a sacred quiet place and at the same time don’t disrespect your food by bringing it in there.